As I read recent headlines, I think to myself, “Are people stupid?” I often
wonder, “Could it be that humans are merely clever apes that stumbled upon some easy-to-get oil and moved higher up the food-chain than we deserve?” Then I contemplate, “Maybe evolution doesn’t always mean progress… maybe people are actually dumber today than they were 200 years ago?”
Anyway, below are ten news headlines, along with some little snippets that absolutely blow my mind with their self-evident level of absurdity;
1) World Leaders gather at Copenhagen Climate Summit to discuss ways to combat global warming. – There are simply no words to describe this….
2) Saudi Arabia calls for investigation into ‘ClimateGate’. – I love this… The Saudis found a PERFECT excuse to cover their falling oil production. The next time that we ask them to pump more oil, they can tell us that they don’t like our condescending attitude about oil. That will be hilarious….
3) Harry Reid calls Opponents to Healthcare Reform to supporters of slavery. – OKKAAAYYYYY….. Let’s see here, this joker wants to confiscate fruits of labor from the productive members of society. Sounds like he’s bringing back slavery in grand fashion….
4) Pelosi Endorses ‘Global’ Tax on Stocks, Bonds, and other Financial Transactions – What a concept! Let’s see, and what does this crazy witch want to do with the booty raised by such robbery? The mad-woman says the, “revenue from such a tax could be used to help fund more stimulus spending.” OK, I officially declare that the days of electricity and running water in the USA are nearly over…
5) US plan to round up wild horses draws opposition
The government wants to carry out what is believed to be the biggest-ever roundup of wild horses on federal land, moving as many as 25,000 mustangs and burros to pastures in the Midwest and East out of fear their fast-multiplying numbers will lead to mass starvation. -
Ok, so let’s go back a couple years. The government in its infinite wisdom banned the slaughter of horses, now their numbers have grown to the point they are starving. What a shocker. But here is the really nutty part of this;
The plan is facing heated opposition from advocates, including celebrities Sheryl Crow, Bill Maher and Ed Harris, who contend the proposal is itself inhumane and unnecessary.
The government argues that the mustang population in 10 Western states is growing so rapidly that the horses are quickly running out of food, in part because of drought ravaging the region.
One of the most vocal wild-horse advocates is Grammy-winning singer Sheryl Crow. “One of the first things they say is something must be done because the horses are starving. We don’t believe it,” Crow said in an interview with The Associated Press.
Good grief. Our government intends to impose a cow-flatulence-tax consisting of 10% of the value of each cow, because they think that cow farts makes icebergs melt. Clearly the people of this country are over-fed, and I mean that. What we need is a good-old fashioned famine. I’m talking Medieval levels of extreme belt-tightening. Until people actually can no longer drive to the store and get a banana, they will continue to dream up utter foolishness.
Maybe a new ice-age will do the trick….